Funny Quote of the Day - BrainyQuote
Date PostedArticle
Today Alanis Morissette
"We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect."
Yesterday Rita Rudner
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
Sep 6, 2010 Jay London
"I saw a stationery store move."
Sep 5, 2010 Robert Orben
"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
Sep 4, 2010 Bob Hope
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."
Sep 3, 2010 Christopher Marlowe
"Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position."
Sep 2, 2010 Anthony Burgess
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."
Sep 1, 2010 Douglas William Jerrold
"The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon."
Aug 31, 2010 H. L. Mencken
"It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man."
Aug 30, 2010 Steven Wright
"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."
Aug 29, 2010 Woody Allen
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."
Aug 28, 2010 Groucho Marx
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."
Aug 27, 2010 W. C. Fields
"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes."
Aug 26, 2010 Walt Disney
"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."
Aug 25, 2010 Charles de Gaulle
"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs."
Aug 24, 2010 Rodney Dangerfield
"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."